Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Want to learn English???????

Jappier's Spoken English:

In Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier, Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing Colleges, always speaks in English. Those college students have collected & published a book by name "Jappier's Spoken English"   …. Enjoy ………..with his…………..English…………..

Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great "Jappier's Spoken English"

# At the ground
All of you stand in a straight circle. (Straight circle)
There is no wind in the balloon. (Balloon without air…fushhh)
The girl with the mirror please comes here… {Means: girl with specs please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students:
You, rotate the ground four times…
You go and under-stand the tree…
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO …..(?)
# Sir at his best:
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them. So the next day at s school…

(to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"

# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today…
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
Take 5 cm wire of any length….

His speech about kargil widows:

"All brothers standing border..shooting dying..child asking mummy... 'mummy where is daddy'...daddy coming body..." saying this he wiped his tears. (All the students broke into laughter)

# First inauguration day sept 13 2000 :

"Girls girls jingle jingle, boys boys mingle mingle, girls boys no jingle mingle..." (Lots of applause to this, from girls & parents).

Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences …

Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

At Sathyabama college day 2002:

"This college strict u the worry no …. U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, Jappier the happy, tomorrow u marry I enjoy"

At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:

"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "

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