Friday, June 27, 2008

NEVER MARRY A SOFTWARE GIRL....

Never  marry  a Testing girl since she always doubts U.

Never
 marry  a DATABASE  girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key .

Never
 marry  a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.

Never
 marry  a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.

Never
 marry  a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.

Never
 marry  a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.

Never
 marry   a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.

Never
 marry  a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.

Never
 marry  a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.

Never
 marry  a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles .

Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY
 


MARRY A GIRL FROM A "HARD"WARE FAMILY, THEN...........................

Some JOKES

The Equation:

7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 7777777777777 Problems.
So beware of
glance!

Plan For Future:

Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.

Exams:

Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Resultis always FAIL!


Liar:

A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do ukeep telling people
u're dying of
AIDS?"
Answer:"So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur
mom!"


Three Feelings:


What's the difference between stress, tension and
panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when
girlfriend is
pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

Chinese Adam & Eve:


If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in
paradise because
they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Summer of 69 - Brayan Adams - lyrics

Summer of 69 - Brayan Adams - lyrics

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played 'til my fingers bled
It was summer of '69

Me and some guys from school
Had a Band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shualda known we'd never get far

Oh when I lock back now
That was seemes to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

(CHORUS)

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenin's down at the drive in
And that's when I met you

Standin on a mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was no or never
Those were the best days of my life

(Chorus) Back in Summer of '69

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever, no

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Somethimes when I play that old six-string
I think about ya wonder what went wrong

Standin' on a mama's porch
You told me it would last forever
Oh the way you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

(Chorus) Back in summer of '69

Brayan Adams - Here I am - Lyrics

Brayan Adams - Here I am - Lyrics

Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

It's a new world - it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day - it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you
Here I am

Here we are - we've just begun
And after all this time - our time has come
Ya here we are - still goin' strong
Right here in the place where we belong


Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

Here I am - next to you
And suddenly the world is all brand new
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay
Now there's nothin standin in our way
Here I am - this is me

Awarapan Song Lyrics

Awarapan Song Lyrics

Tera yakeen kyun
Maine kiya nahi
Tujhse raha kyun judaa
Mujhpe yeh zindagi
Karti rahi sitam
Tune hi di hai panaah
Tera mera rishta purana [x3]

Hai kya tadap
Hai yeh kaisi saza
Tu kyun mujhe aaj yaad aagaya
Bechain din mere
Bechain raat hai
Kya mein karu kuch bataa

Hai mere paau hi
Khud meri bediyaan
Mujhse mujhe tu chudaa
Tera Mera Rishta Purana [x3]

Jo mujh mein hai
Shaks woh keh raha
Aaa Ab mein tu
Karz tera chukaa

Aankhen hai num meri
Saasein chubhan meri
Zakhm hua phir hara
Dil ke viraane mein
Mere phasaane mein
Tuhi to har dum raha
Tera Mera Rishta Purana [x4]

Ooohoho...
Aaahahaha...
Aaaahahahahlalala...
Oh tera mera...ah ah ah...purana


Friday, June 20, 2008

Wedding Query .. (SQL Style)


Wedding Query….. (SQL Style)


CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
BrideGroom Male (25),
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
       SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
      WHERE FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ AND Count(Car) > 10 AND
      HouseStatus = ‘ThreeStoreyed’
      AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having
      Brothers = Null AND Sisters = Null
       SELECT Gold, Cash, Car, BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw UPDATE
MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal UPDATE MyLocker SET
            MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold
INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (’BMW’)
END GO

Then the Bride writes the below query:

DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;


Kids too much...... :)

 

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had phoned in sick one day.

Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello?"

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked,  "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,  "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:

"ME."


What is Deadlock..?

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
So make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.


Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.


Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.


Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.


Grandpa
(the 1st boss ;) ) make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we canceled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has canceled her trip.


Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tuition: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company
.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement
.





















This is called deadlock. Can't open !!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 yr old Romanian Singer Cleopatra Stratan--Awesum


Read the lyrics below as u listen........

Listen to this …really cute :)

3 yr old Romanian Singer Cleopatra Stratan… her dad Pavel Stratan is a famous singer ……. he was in the studio recording when his daughter was playing there....she suddenly picked up the mike and started singing ……… everybody was stunned ………… and she ended recording the whole album!

The last stanza is in Romanian language
….


About Cleopatra Stratan

Cleopatra Stratan (born October 6, 2002 in Chisinau, Moldova), daughter of Moldovan-Romanian singer, Pavel Stratan, is one of the youngest people ever to score commercial success as a singer, with her 2006 album La vârsta de trei ani ("At the age of 3").

Pavel Stratan, father of Cleopatra, was in a studio recording a song with 3 years old Cleopatra hanging around. Impulsively, she grabbed a microphone and started singing along with Pavel. Everybody was stunned so they ended up recording the song with Cleopatra performing the lead vocals rather than Pavel. The song was "Mama" (mother). After that, Cleopatra recorded several other songs, basically a full album, and eventually performed some concerts.

Some suggest that as she is younger than Shirley Temple, she should be included in the Guinness Book of World Records as the youngest talent ever to perform on stage and record her own album. In Romania, Moldova, and around the world, there seems to be a growing fan base. Some of her songs have already been translated into English and Spanish.

La vârsta de trei ani ("At the age of 3") was a double platinum disk in the summer of 2006 for selling more than 150,000 albums in Romania. In December 2006, her father announced that until the next album (possibly in one or two years), she will no longer sing publicly.

As of 2006, Cleopatra's biggest hit is the song "Ghiţă".

lyrics…


The coat is inside out,
There is no sun above
Nothing is going good
Since I think of Ghita.
But Ghita's not in town
I asked why he's not around
It seems to me he's gone
He's gone abroad

Hard, I think it's very hard
Want, I don't know what I want
I know that you like me too
Ghita, what is up with you?
Young, come on in or go
Young, tell me yes or no
Ghita, please dont´t anger me
Tell me how your life will be

Ghita,
Tonight I'm waiting at the wicket
Me at the station I bought a ticket
Come to,
But don't come as you did before
As usually with empty hands...
Who else
Will
wait and sing for you as I do
Entire evening just getting there
Ghita,
Show me a girl who's found of you
That loves you more as much as I do...

Ghita, te-astept diseara la portita
Langa portita de la scoala
Vino da numa nu vini cum vii tu
De obicei cu mana goala
Cine te mai asteapta ca si mine
O seara intreaga numai pe tine.
Ghita, arata-mi tu o fata care
Sa te iubeasca asa de tare!

Send This 2 u r Boss


 

Hi Boss,




People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes

People who do less work...
make less mistakes

People who do no work...
make no mistakes

People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted

That's why I spend most of my time
sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.
graphic

 



check it.. A story


At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane's departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, "I love you, I wish you enough."

She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed good-bye and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied.

Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked.

"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, " he said.

"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?"

He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.

"When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye."

He then began to sob and walked away.............


Teenage Girl's Letter to her Dad -- : -- Dear Dad , .....


A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:


PS:

Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.

I love you!

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.